LaviAmador: enero 2014

viernes, 24 de enero de 2014

Chapter two: Rutine.

The week has go so fast. And I was tired. Now I am just bored.

Well I have achieved to not let my brain had time to think, because ussualy when I think, I miss him and them I feel sad, miserable and without a reason to go on. I feel hopeless. Now I just have time on my weekends.

I have felt the need this first days in college to sceam to my teachers specially the craziest one. SHUT OUT ! ASS! I DONT NEED THIS! GO FUCK YOURSELF! IS NOT OUR FAULT THAT YOU DONT HAVE A LIFE AND NOW YOU ARE HERE WITH A BORING JOB SO GO AND FUCK YOURSELF ARSE!

But noo... I just take a deep breath and sight. And look down. Abbie you got to do this , this is your only chance to be happy, to meet him, to see Robert! OMG. And suddenly I am happy and writting whatever shit the teacher is talkig about. I repeat ti myself Go Abbie one more year one more year you already have done 19... so one more is nothing.

All nights before sleeping I have listen to his songs, cry, laugh, smile and sleep at them.

They remind me how much I love him for who I think he is , maybe I am wrong but I need need need to know, if I love the Robert I think I love.

jueves, 23 de enero de 2014

arses.

lunes, 20 de enero de 2014

Having a blog.

Makes Creativity and my bored space of time, to go ahead.

Hey! Soul sister! I dont wanna miss a single day..

Petit flower, huge photo

This last are just like me...

This pink are what I wanna be... like the spice girls LOL.

You & Me.

We would never be Royals...

Let me be your ruler....

The false mask.

Chapter 1 : So it begins.

So here I am , bringing sad memories at my high school days. Damn it I am over with those stupid, stupid people that didnt have a life and bully me like it was their hobby.They dont deserve your time Abby.

I take a deep steady breath. And try to forget them and leave them where they belong in the past. Yes Abby in the past, you know you are a nice girl, they were only stupid and mean. As Taylor Swift would said. I smile at that thought. That girl have great songs... I was not particulary her fan until I really listen to her lyrics.

I am leaving my house to go to the house I grew up. My moms job.I hate and love being there. Love it because 20 years I have been there...and wait noo I am not 20 yet. Damn it I am only 19...for 2 more whole months! Well... I want to forget about that.. And I hate because simple is not my home.

But for what I want, for what I want to achieve I got to be here. I need a new, funnier,happier,stronger, REALLY stronger, smarter version of me. Of Abby...Oh Lord I will only survive by your help.

I smile at me at the mirror. I always do it. Is like trying to convince myself that I am happy. Who I am kidding. I am not. So the happy face converts into a sad bitter smile. The pale face with big brown eyes strares at me. Damn it I am not suppose to be so pale. Damn it I am naturally tanned I was born in a tropical coutry. DAMN IT I LIVE IN CENTRAL AMERICA, WHERE HOT CLIMATE ALMOST BURNING ITS OUR NATURAL STATE. And here I am pale. My color skin is getting pale and pale. I am always the different girl in the place.

So my mom wants to me drive her to the super market, to her friend house. I make a stand of course as always. Its the golden rule in our relationship. I mean I love my mom most of the time when I dont hate her but today is the last day of my vacations well... that oficially was yesterday sunday but one more day for me please?

-Nooo mami. I dont wanna drive today. Noo nono.-

My mom laughs of course she knew the answer before I said to her.

-Maybe tomorrow? I suggest.

-Lavi you will be tired tommorrow..-

Damn it. She is right.

-Ughhhh I will not! Well we would see one day of the week could be mother.-

Now leave me alone. I love to enjoy my company, and my computer,tv, and books...

and chocolate....

Then she makes a complete possible schedule to make all of her trips, and what she is going to buy and where blah blah. I ignored her cuz I know it would be how I want to be. Simple mom. Thank you very much.

The one thing that makes my house special although is not fancy and big as these one.Is that is mine. I have my own sapce there.Mine.Thanks to my dad who I love and miss every day of my life.And of couse my mom who I fight with here every day of my life.

Then after I have said "yes" and smile she leves me alone.

Thanks heavens for that.

I watch tv, a telenovela yes I know kinda dork to watch this. But is like a tradition here. You are bored? Search for a telenovela on the tv. Simple.

Its two o clock as a tradition I watch now sponge bob square pants. jajaja I love this show although brings back memories of a exfriend. Damn how can he squmules my favorite show. I try to forget as I laugh at my tv.And listen to the ridiculous cute song of Bob.

I have wached my hair so now that is dry it looks like I am a lion. hahaha I laugh at me.

By 3o clock its time for me to go work...so I hide as usual I give lessons of english and help with their homeworks to a boy. He is funny and cute, is not like a job for me because I enjoy that time. Children alway make you forget about the serious world we live. And it help me to buy gas and to saved money for a trip that I want for New York.

I need to make that trip for my carrer in college. I really need the hours of conference it gaves to us, because I am so lazy I have miss alottt of hours. Yes that sounds like me. I remeber for high school I miss so many days and on saturdays we do social work I miss to many saturdays at the end after crying because I will not graudate until... my teacher make us go and work extras saturdays. Well it went well not bath abby. Yes sometimes I guess I am lucky.

The afternoon pass as it ussually does, I ALWAYS enjoy every fast minute of my last day of vacations. Oh God back to reality. I love and hate college. The people there dosent make it cute enough for me. So... its like hell but not much like high school..mot much as that. I smile to God.

Soon I panic, because I dont know what to wear to college tomorrow. God he first day is always the harder day to choose clothes. So.. I think. Well I supposed I can wear something of my new clothes cortesy of my part time job. And my mom... I set the ussual jean, cute tops, and what I think cute flats? What else I can used for college. Its conftroble to wear and since I am not intrested in anyoneee... of course there are some cute boys but.. nah.. I am inlove with someone else...Since 2009 or 2010 or 2008.
ohhhhh I just dont know. I see college like an opportunity to be closed to him. That is all. For him. For me. For both of us. But I may say I am good. Damn it I feel super smart whn I am near my classmate who takes college as a joke... Well is not my business.

So its the night. The fucking night. I always hate the night. The only thing I can think and think its about him. How much I missed him. How much I love him.

I lay down in bed listen music in my ipod. Every song reminds me of him.

Damn it.

Sometimes I hate this feeling I have for him I dont even understand why I love him. I know he would think I am crazy becuase I have ever even met him. God... I sound like a stlaker.

Yes like a good portion of sad lonely girls with no real boyfriend. Ouch it hurts. But reality is that yes some cute guys had come to
me to be something more than friends. Buut I just cant. I cant I reply and remember to myself. And is because its true. I cannot.

I am in love with a celebrity. Robert. I love him. I cannot explain why but I do. And I dont know if it making me stronger or killing me. Hummm only time knows and God of course.

I listen to his music until I am sleepy. And I fall asleep. Every night I wish I can dream about him. But I ussually dont remenber what I have dream. But yeah sometimes he is even in my dreams...

A bit of not fiction and fiction. AbbyStoriesOnline.

http://ask.fm/ForMrRPattinson

domingo, 19 de enero de 2014

Save me from this monster.

@laviniaamador twitter

#Proud

Let her go, Passenger. Oh Dear. I love you R.P.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

Staring at the bottom of your glass
Hoping one day you'll make a dream last
But dreams come slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you'll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies

But you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
And you let her go
Oh oh oh no
Well you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go

'Cause you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go